It's Nine!

How has it been 9 years!?

It is crazy how an event can feel like a lifetime ago AND also feel like it was just yesterday.

I read somewhere - 

The reality is, cancer never for a second, lets us get over it, lets us forget.

How can you get over something that changed your life 180 degrees? 

For those of you just starting out don't freak I swear it gets better but 

the fact is it is always somewhere lurking to remind you. 

Sometimes it comes up with maybe a sharp pain in your chest, 

doc calls it phantom pains I call him a LIAR that is real pain right there. 

Or it maybe a friendly reminder with that doctor appointment that 

you have to go to every 6 months, add the scans and blood work every other 

6 months with a little scananiexty and BAM right back in. 

So saying "get over it" is dumb. 

You get over a fence or a stream but cancer oh hell no. 

When you have deep scars, death of friends, side effects, insomnia, weight gain, 

muscle loss, physical pain, hair loss, hair growth in friggin bad places, 

toe nails falling off, misshapen boobs, numbness....how can you get over? 

Then there are those fabulous moments when you have a "cancer free" day, hour, 3 hours. 

You go about your business and then you realize that you are free of this crap, 

but then your arm swells cause you pulled a hang nail and your lymphedema activated. 

But you straighten your tiara, slide your pretty bedazzled sleeve up, 

smile, put a dab of gloss on and say - 

I am getting through this my way.

This last year has been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions for me.

Both personally and within my family.

For those of you that don't know, my mother was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. 

She had been having problems swallowing for a number of months but on August 23, 

she called to tell me she had been diagnosed with cancer.

I cried, I felt like all my breath had been knocked out of me, I was in shock.

When our called ended, I screamed. And cried some more.

Time stood still, I couldn't fully process her words.

I was angry.  

I was livid, pissed off, furious!

I was shocked, worried and scared!!

Please no, was the only thought that kept repeating over and over again in my mind.

These emotions took over me, like they did on June 17, 2014.

And just like that I was back in it.

My mom decided to do chemotherapy, radiation and a holistic approach - all simultaneously.

Can I just say how amazing my mother is!

Chemo was exhausting! Radiation was painful - but doing them both, at the same time.  

I can't begin to describe how challenging those months were for her, but that is her story.

I will say how incredibly proud I am of her.

Today she is doing great.

She is working and getting ready to go on her next trip.

And I am trying to convince her to dye her new grey hair purple.

So what else have I been up to?  Traveling! How I love to travel.

I have been so lucky over this last year to go on a number of amazing trips!

And because I love to document my travels - here are tons of pictures!

The first part of summer 2022, I took the kids on a road trip through Salt Lake, 

up to Idaho and back home through Nevada.

   

 

Then in the fall my mom and I went to West Virginia, Virginia, North & South Carolina.   

Next a spring break trip to southern California with the family.

Another crazy road trip with my mom, we needed to move up our annual trip to the spring.

We drove through Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia.

    

 

And just last month, Ryan and I were invited to hike Havasupai Falls!

It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been - 

crazy how the middle of the desert can remind me of Hawaii.

I am proud of the scars I have, even though they are a constant visual reminder.

I am courageous because of the battles I have fought - emotional, physical and mental.

I am honored to say that I am a survivor.