Six

Six weeks was the magical number to hit.
Most likely things have healed and
shouldn't give me future complications.
Shouldn't.

I saw my surgeon again today to have him look at everything.
Stomach incision looks good.
Some of the nerves running down my left leg either
got accidentally cut or hopefully just nicked or bumped.
This is causing numbness and pain.
If it is the first - it will be permanent.
If it is the latter - it will slowly get better.
Only time will tell.

My abscess is looking better too.
Just taking its time to heal.
I have developed a rash and blisters from the tape that
I use to cover the abscess though.
Hopefully that is all it is and not an underlying infection.
My doctor drew with a black sharpie around it and said
if it spreads outside the marked area he will call me in
a prescription for medication - oh goodie.

My hematoma is getting smaller.
I have been putting on heat and massaging it every night,
and I can definitely tell that helps, well that and ibuprofen.

All of my restrictions have been lifted - sort of.
I can slowly start lifting things over 10 pounds.
If possible, I can reach or stretch my arms above my elbows.
(I think this one will take time and occupational therapy
just like after my mastectomy - my range of motion is gone
and it is painful to raise my arms very high.)
Walking is still about the only exercise I should do.
I can try sleeping in bed but most likely will be going
back and forth between it and the recliner.


I still have quite a bit of pain in my upper chest on the left side.
From what I understand, in surgery they moved around the muscle
and then put stitches down to my new breast to help hold it in place.
But now the weight is pulling on the muscle and stitches and makes
it feel like it is ripping and separating inside my chest.
He thought it would be a good idea at this point to wrap ace bandages
around me.  It is a little bit of a guessing game - too tight and it will
constrict the new vessels and could cut off the blood flow to the flap; or
too loose and it won't do any good.
(On a happier note, after he wrapped me I looked down  - I  have cleavage!)

Then I talked to the doctor about all the various pains
I have been having; ribs, stomach, armpits, ect.

He explained a little bit more of how the DIEP surgery was done and
it makes a lot more sense as to why I am having pain in those areas.
But basically his bottom line was - I am overdoing it.

I struggle because I already feel like I am only doing half a job.
Half a wife, mom, housekeeper... - all of it.
Mom guilt is hard.
I know to take it easy.
I know I need to rest.
I know I don't need to do it all.
It is just hard.
But I know I will get there.