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Saturday, August 13, 2016

Summer is Over

Wow - it has almost been two months since the last post.
Sorry for the lack of updates.

I am about the same.
Which is good and bad.

I kinda don't know what to write about.
Still physically, mentally and emotionally feeling the same.
I guess the best word I could use right now is stuck.

School started on Thursday and while that does bring
some relief as to what to do with Abby and Kaden all day,
I am not excited about homework.
Abby had some on the first day.
Ugg, that makes me tired already.

Summer was super fun but boy did it exhaust me.
June was the month of camps.
Abby had a couple of art camps.
Kaden had nature camp.
Alyssa had dance camp, safety camp and summer school.
Throw in some park time, splash pads, swimming and movies in the park.
And dance recitals, tennis tournaments, support group meeting and doctors appointments for all of us.

Then for July.
Abby and Kaden got to go to Camp Kesem, a camp just for kids who have a parent with cancer.
They loved it!  They can't wait for next year.
Ryan broke his foot while he was motorcycle riding.
It required surgery, a plate and 5 screws.
The kids and I did a couple of trips to Salt Lake, to see more doctors and
to use our Pass of All Passes - Trafalga, Seven Peaks, Murray Park and Rocky Mountain Raceway.
Went to East Canyon where we played mini golf, basketball & shuffleboard and hiked.
And swam everyday - twice a day.
We went to the  farm. 4-wheeling, campfires, parades, taking care of animals, spring cleaning, sleeping in the new cabin, zip lining, swimming in a private swimming hole, vaccinating the cows, a huge slip and slide, going to see the BFG movie at the drive in and going to Palasides Lake. 
 We were pretty much gone most of the month of July.
(All the pictures on my other blog.)


I find that when I am doing so much,
and getting little rest,
all my side effects from chemo, radiation and surgeries act up more.
While I love going and doing all these fun activities with the kids,
I am hoping things slow down just a little so I can breathe and get caught up.

I am having a hard time finding that middle ground between going and doing and paying for it the next day.  Some things like my lymphedema can't "get better" like sore muscles. It is a life long condition.

I have been trying really hard to get caught up with my photography.
Making sure pictures are sorted, printed and put into albums.
Our annual family pictures are scrap booked and put into another album.
Journaling is caught up.
Baby books and school books are up-to-date.
For some reason I have this nagging, urgent feeling to make sure life
with my kids and husband is documented.
Is it just for fun to look back on or will be a way for the kids to remember me by?
(Sorry that was kinda dark, but sometimes that is my reality.)

Sometimes I want life to slow down so I can relax,
but on the other hand I want to go and see and do as much as I can.
I always feel like no matter what I am doing, I am missing out on something.

I guess what I mean in all this rambling is I need to find a balance.
I guess I will make that my new goal.




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