Waiting for Friday

This past Friday the kid's school put on their annual Harvest Hop.
We buy drinks, cookies and eat pizza.
Then each grade puts on a dance.
Fun for the kids.
I had fun, too.
So much more so than last year.

As I sat there watching my kids dance - I felt so good.
Last year I got so tired and winded from the short walk
from the road to the pavilion, that I had to lay down,
for almost the entire performance.
I was so sick I couldn't even sit up.

I feel like things are getting "better."
Most days they are.
Then a day like today hits me and I struggle.
This morning I had an MRI.
An MRI will now be one of my annual appointments.
Just to check to make sure there is no cancer they can see.
It took about an hour.
But laying in this machine, with ear plugs and ear muffs on, staring at nothing
trying to drown out the horrendous noise!
Fear found me.
I was too afraid to cry.
I am not supposed to move.
I certainly didn't want to have to start over.

I don't want things like this to scare me.
But I don't know how not to be worried.
Waiting for the results.
Probably nothing.
But not sure how to process my feelings as I wait.

Two days.
Forty eight hours.
Trying to stay positive.