Low

Wow.  It has been a while since I have posted any updates. 

I have been struggling a bit with - well everything. 

The side effects are really hitting me hard.  They are cumulative with each treatment and being almost at the end, they are pretty bad.

My red and white blood count was low last treatment so I needed to have a blood transfusion - 4 hours and 2 units blood.  I thought it would make me feel a little better but nope.   And to be honest it really gave me the heebie-jeebies watching the blood drip through my IV line.

This week I also got tonsillitis.  I had to go back in to the doctor to get more meds and get IV fluids, because I was dehydrated. I also had a temperature that had the doctor worried.  He told me to monitor it for the next 24-48 hours and if it didn't go down the medication they would need to hospitalize me.  Luckily the next day it  went down.  Between the side effects of a big chemo treatment and being sick, I was down and in bed for the better part of a week. 

Last week I met with the doctor who will be doing my surgery.  I was given a few options but we cant make any final decisions until the genetics testing comes back the end of next week.  I didn't get the news I wanted to hear from the surgeon and now I am tore as to what the best option is.

With each new step it brings on a whole new set of fears.  It is easy to talk about it in the future tense but when I have to face it, I am really scared. 

I also had an appointment with my oncologist.  For some reason I thought I would not need radiation because the cancer had not spread but he thinks it is my best chance to get rid of the cancer once and for all.  How can I argue with that?   Another fear to overcome.

So what is next.

Last big round of chemo on the 20th.

Wait 4-6 weeks to get better and my body to build back up its immunity.

First week of December - surgery.

Radiation.

Another surgery.

Possibly another surgery.

For now just waiting and worrying....